My fun cognitive quotes page

Read this first

No quote is attributed, because I suspect some people would not like to see their names in such a collection. All quotes are from public presentations, hence I have not sought permission from anyone. If you think you are recognizable somewhere and would prefer to have the quote removed, e-mail me.

These are from conferences

With my commentary in italics.

“And in this framework there are three projects we're working on, the first is 'Converging Technologies for Active Aging', the second is 'Converging Technologies for Pure Water'… *rolleyes* I don't know who chose these topics, really.”

I was just following orders!!

“The impact of NBIC… the impact of something we're not even sure what it is yet…”

And these are the world's foremost experts on the topic, mind you.

“Social scientists have an image problem compared to hard scientists… they are looked upon as some kind of glorified public relations people.”

“The social scientists are setting up hedges the researchers then have to jump.”

Mom, can I do it too?

“Even if the research is not too strong, Hollywood will make movies out of it!”

(speaker introduced by chair, presentation title…)

“But I'm presenting something else!”

(loads up the slides. it is _indeed_ something else)

Chair: “Well, anything goes…”

someone from the audience:

“you can present anything, at this time in the conference… don't worry!”

Kind of reassuring. This makes me want to present already!

“artificial limps” - written on a slide (Judging from the context, he was thinking of limbs.)

“The AI community and the nanotech community both claim that the OTHER is dangerous to humanity!”

While psi researchers will silently take over Planet Earth.

(presentation on the representation of emerging technologies in the Italian media)

first audience question: “How independent is the media in Italy?”

and the answer was: “well, you can buy articles… in the US you would buy advertisements, here you can buy articles…”

I don't know what is more funnier, the fact that someone would ask such a question or the fact that his assumptions were essentially right.

“And the aim of this project is… I've left the aim open, it's characteristic of my thinking!” (shows a slide titled “AIM” which is otherwise completely empty)

I thought only thesis advisors are allowed to do that.

“In this project, we also have a professor of bio-nanotechnology, and he tells me “we use this 'nano' word when we apply for funding!””

So it isn't all that different from my field. Maybe I should introduce the 'nano-' prefix into all my research proposals. “And we will have nano-results!”

“When you go to the supermarket, it's an ethical nightmare! *dramatic pause* how was all this stuff manufactured?!?

The moral of the story: Don't go shopping with a social scientist.

“we don't have a military-industrial complex, we have a military-industrial-university complex!”

And who funded your research?

And, finally, on the impact of technology on society:

“folks, if you want to make a completely ungovernable world, this is the way to do it!”

But maybe we don't have to worry that much:

“If you told someone in 1960 that they would all carry mobile phones and using them the govt would be able to track them, they would be very scared of an Orwellian world.”

These are from various lectures and classes

Some I've even translated for you!!

Mi a fenomenális tudat? “a rettenetesen buta hal érzi, hogy hideg a víz… nem tudja, hogy hideg a víz, azt se tudja, hogy neki rossz, csak érzi, hogy neki rossz”

What is phenomenal consciousness? “The horribly stupid fish feels that the water is cold… it doesn't know that the water is cold, it doesn't know that it's feeling awful, it's only feeling awful”

“elég intuícióellenes, hogy akkor most a Fővárosi Vízműveknek is van elméje?”

- a funkcionalizmusról, de…

“azt el kell ismerni, hogy nem humánsoviniszta elmélet!”

“It's quite counterintuitive for the City of Budapest Water Department to have a mind…”

- on functionalism, but…

“One has to acknowledge that it's not a human-chauvinist theory!”

“Mire vonatkoznak a mentális állapotok leírásai? Például 'Utálom az egyetemet'.”

“What are descriptions of mental states about? For example, 'I hate university'.”

“Hilary Putnam *hatásszünet* aki egy férfi!”

“Hilary Putnam *dramatic pause* who's a guy!”

“Az elme naturalizálásának eddigi legsikeresebb kísérlete a kognitivizmus, ezzel fogjuk folytatni következő órán, de most elmegyek a gyerekért.”

“Cognitivism is the most successful attempt this far at naturalizing the mind, and we'll continue with this next time, but now I have to pick up the child.” [ie. from kindergarten]

misc/cogsci_quotes.txt · Last modified: 2007/09/09 17:34 by prezzey
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